Do you need him, want him, or can you actually get along without him?

Photo by Alex Boyd on Unsplash

One of the most attractive traits you have is not NEEDING your guy. This is true if you are together or if you’ve broken up with him. Men need a challenge and when you express neediness (maybe thinking it is love?) he reacts by running, in the OPPOSITE direction.

Desire, outside of physical desire, can be expressed on a continuum. On the far left is neediness and the far right is disdain. Your aim is to be somewhere smack dab in the middle of that line. That middle line is an expression of wanting him without needing him and still being able to get along without him.

The really difficult concept to understand is that even if you need him, if he thinks you do, he’ll leave. It doesn’t matter how much you want him by your side each day and night. It doesn’t matter how much you care, love, or respect this guy. If HE isn’t ready for that affection, then the relationship is going nowhere. And, truly, going nowhere is where it will go.

So many times women hope and think that they can believe and hope a relationship back into existence. Maybe, she thinks, that she did something wrong? Maybe she was a bit too needy? Maybe she could change?

Well, the time to change is right here and right now.

It’s time recognize that you are a smart, intelligent, and warm individual who any man would be blessed to have in his life. If THIS guy doesn’t think that way, then it’s time to move on and you can be the one to say goodbye.

However, if you do care and want to see what you can do to save the relationship, then it’s time to change your own attitude to one of abundance and gratefulness. Be grateful for the talents and traits you already possess and think of your life from a perspective of abundance.

In other words, when you can mentally distance yourself from the relationship and engage with the rest of your life, then he’ll notice that as well. Suddenly you aren’t at his beck and call each day and he’ll have to spend time to pursue you. Even if you’ve been together for years, this act of putting him in control of pursuing you does two things. It engages his hunting instinct and it solidifies in his mind that he DOES want you.

The flip side of this scenario is that he doesn’t want to remain with you any longer. The hard part of this recognition is that it would have happened whether or not you became more independent. Your newfound independence and emotional health will help you move past this relationship and into a new, exciting, and more stable relationship where you can practice these new skills for years to come.

Join me LIVE on Facebook every Monday through Friday as we discuss this further and get your questions answered! Also, if are a woman who would like help understand men better and you are curious about what is going on inside the Dynamic Women’s Tribe, come take a peek! Stay cool!