In the search to determine why you lost your last boyfriend, and maybe even the last several, it may be time to look inward at yourself. We don’t like to think that it might be our attitude, the way we treat him, or anything about us that could have driven this last really terrific guy running and screaming into the darkness, but when there have been several in a row who leave, it could be time to take stock of ourselves.
One complaint that resonates quite frequently with men is that she might be just the tiniest bit too negative. Ok, maybe she’s just negative all the time about our little screw ups and mess ups. Let’s face it, we all mess up from time to time. Even the ladies do! But when the men screw up it seems they REALLY screw it up.
This is not the time to make nice, put the mess up under the rug, and just ignore it. But it is the time to work through it without blaming, yelling, or laying the whole problem at his feet. Working through conflict with grace and diplomacy will get you a whole lot further than just yelling, screaming, and slamming the door. Even worse, withholding physical affection, another favorite tactic, will just put an even bigger void between you.
You might think that your guy really messed up, but then haven’t you at times? And, if he’s just a screw up all the time, why are you sticking around?
The second half of this attitude issue is during times when he is NOT messing up. In other words, when he does something nice for you, recognize it. He might think you don’t notice; but when you do, it makes him feel like a million dollars.
It’s like when you do something really nice for your significant other that he wouldn’t normally expect. When he ignores you, it feels like you’re being taken for granted. The same is true for him.
Sometimes, you might have to work hard to find the little things he does to make your day better, especially when you’re having a bad day! But the extra attention you pay to his expressions of love will come back to reward you tenfold down the road.
Your attitude about life, relationships, job, family, and friends will say a lot about who you are and how you expect your guy to act around you. You must understand that while men and women experience the emotion of ‘love’ and ‘desire’ differently, they both understand the difference between being respected and disrespected.
A negative attitude that you might hold can come across as being disrespectful to your guy. When he feels disrespected he won’t demonstrate love and affection to you. When you don’t feel loved, it’s difficult to demonstrate respect.
If you can be the first to break the pattern, demonstrate a positive attitude with respect, you’ll have broken the pattern of attitude that drives men away searching for the woman who will support him and be sexy at the same time.
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