When They Don’t Approach

Photo by Rachael Gorjestani on Unsplash

What happens when you want the guy to approach and he just doesn’t take the hint? You’ve given off all the right signals, or at least you think you have. You’ve been smiling his way, making eye contact and flirting to the best of your ability. He keeps STARING but doesn’t seem to be MOVING. What’s next?

Well, there are several reasons he may not approach you. And, depending upon what you perceive to be the reason, you might have one more ace up your sleeve.

You might have gone overboard. In other words, you might have flirted with him so much that he just can’t imagine how anyone can bat their eyes that much in one sitting. In this case, the stare isn’t because he finds you attractive in physical or romantic sense, but rather finds you interesting as a study in social interactions that should never have made it out of the house.

It’s time to cut bait and move on. The whole situation is probably a goner because his opinion of you has already been formed and it isn’t a good one!

Maybe he’s already attached to another woman and is staring because although he finds you attractive, he is honoring his commitment to someone else. This man is a keeper. It’s just that you can’t have him.

Another option that isn’t so wonderful is that he is just not that in to you. He’s not really staring at YOU per se, but instead is staring at your cleavage and thinking of what happened at the office that day. Again, this situation is a goner. There isn’t a thing you can do about this.

Let’s face it. Chemistry is a two way street and if he isn’t feeling it then it won’t matter how many ‘vibes’ you put out; he just isn’t feeling it. Maybe it isn’t you. Maybe it’s the wrong day, time, argument with his ex, fight with his boss, or any other of the large number of things that can go wrong in a person’s life. But, no matter how you slice it, the timing is all wrong. Time to wait until another encounter.

The last option is that he’s the shy one and not sure he can walk across the room to talk with you. On the one hand, you have to ask yourself if this is really your problem. Is this guy so shy that he can’t talk with you and maybe so socially backward that you’ll be the one taking the reins in the relationship for the rest of your time together?

On the other hand, maybe the last few times he’s approached a woman he’s was burned with scathing remarks and put downs. He’s finally had enough and is just sitting and waiting to see if YOU will be the one to approach him.

So, go ahead and approach him. If he’s not interested, he’ll let you know and, just understand, he may or may not be kind when he tells you as much. Remember, he might just be tired of getting his hopes dashed with each approach and it’s possible that you may just have met the man of your dreams.

It comes down to how thick your own skin is that day. Can you handle it if he says he isn’t interested, even if he isn’t kind? Keep in mind, men go through this every time they try to approach a woman. Also, if he isn’t kind about it, then you know FOR SURE he’s not the right guy for you!

Join me LIVE on Facebook every Monday through Friday as we discuss this further and get your questions answered! Also, if are a woman who would like help understand men better and you are curious about what is going on inside the Dynamic Women’s Tribe, come take a peek! Stay cool!